Oh, I think my soul is a tame old duck,
Dabbling around in barnyard muck.
Fat and lazy, with useless wings,
Yet sometimes, when the North wind sings,
And wild ones hurtle overhead,
It remembers something lost and dead.
And cocks a lazy, bewildered eye,
And flaps its wings and tries to fly.
Oh, it’s content with the state it’s in,
But it’s not the duck it might have been.
—Anonymous
This year, I celebrated my eightieth birthday. Despite the arrival of that milestone in September, I found myself feeling curiously alive, hopeful, and happy. Several factors contributed to this uplifting sense of well-being.
One pivotal aspect that allowed me to embrace my age and stage was letting go of the misconception that I had somehow missed my calling. Since my teenage years, I often heard the phrase, “You’re going to be in the Ministry,” from well-meaning individuals. My journey seemed to affirm this idea: I graduated from Bible School, got my license to preach, and a year later, I began a pastorate in Hawaii. For many reasons, however, that tenure lasted a mere nine months.
For several years, I floundered, spending my days working at the physically demanding job of stocking drywall—a role I had taken on in Hawaii to supplement a meager stipend. With a background in ministry, I often faced questions like, “When are you going to get back into the ministry?”
Not long after that season, I transitioned into a career as a graphic designer, embarking on a self-employment journey that has lasted over fifty years. While this new path brought me joy and fulfillment, a nagging doubt still lingered: Had I truly missed my calling?
The answer is a resounding NO! The notion of “the duck I might have been” is a complex construct with multiple layers.
Number One: God doesn’t guide you through guilt, fear, or the opinions of others. Instead, He guides you with the conviction of sin that leads to repentance. He provides clear instructions in His Word and prompts through His Holy Spirit, all while aligning with your natural gifts and talents.
Number Two: God’s calling for you is to desire and follow Him. If this is your stance, you are already fulfilling His calling. In that closeness, He communicates His divine direction hour by hour, day by day, year by year, decade by decade.
Number Three: God doesn’t intend for you to live in a constant state of worry or self-doubt. Instead, He offers joy, fulfillment, provision, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and the countless blessings afforded to a child of God.
Caveats: When it comes to ministry, I love the anonymous quote that was particularly freeing for me: “God doesn’t so much put people in ministry as He puts ministry in people.” Another insightful saying is, “If you can do anything else, then you probably aren’t called to be in full-time ministry.”
Conclusion: Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine if you are “the duck you might have been.” Embrace the journey you’re on, for it is uniquely yours.
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